Cycle of Violence Spousal Relationship
The cycle of violence is a term used to describe the pattern
of violence that occurs in an abusive relationship. It generally consists of
three phases including: 1) Tension building, 2) Explosion and 3) Honeymoon
phase. The cycle of violence can occur many times in a relationship. It can
happen within a matter of hours, over a period of several weeks or even months.
The first phase of the cycle of violence is the tension building phase. During this phase the abuser will begin to get angry, there is a breakdown in communication and the victim feels the need to keep the abuser calm. For the victim, this phase may feel as if they are “walking on eggshells”.
The next phase is called the explosion phase. The tension created during the previous phase escalates, and explodes. Any type of abuse, including physical, emotional, psychological or sexual, can occur. The abuser may threaten, hit, slap or punch the victim. This is the phase where the RCMP typically becomes involved, if they are called. This phase ends when the batterer temporarily stops being abusive towards the victim.
Finally, phase three is known as the honeymoon stage. During this phase, the batterer will apologize, promising it will never happen again. The abuser may say, “I love you” and even assist his victim with the injuries received from the abuse. Because the abuser believes that the abuse won’t happen again and because the victim wants to believe that the abuse won’t ever occur again, the relationship usually remains intact and the cycle of violence continues.1
[1] Adapted from Walker, L., The Battered Woman Syndrome. New York, NY: Springer Publishing Company, 1984.